


What You Don't Know (4x05 deleted scenes)

by DC_bookfanatic



Series: Chicago Med Season 4 Fix-it’s/ deleted scenes [5]
Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Confiding, F/M, Teasing, emotions...lots of emotions, mostly good though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-15 03:56:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21247091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DC_bookfanatic/pseuds/DC_bookfanatic
Summary: Added/missing scenes from season 4, episode 5. Chapter 1: Flashback scene, "Ava, I've seen you at these mixers. You've got most of those guys wrapped around your finger."-Connor Rhodes to Ava Bekker during season 4, episode 5.





	1. Beneath Your Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to episode 5!!  
I mentioned in my last A/N that I had no story ideas for episode 4 so I just left it as is BUT if one of you guys has an idea for that episode, I'd be happy to try and incorporate it (as long as it fits with the episode). This first chapter is a flashback scene inspired by Connor's words to Ava when he was trying to convince her to help him get that bypass machine--You know the one where she basically gives him a verbal slap upside the head (one of my favorite Ava scenes btw) about how unappreciative he was about getting the hybrid OR. That one. Well, just in case you don't remember that scene started out with Connor trying to convince Ava to convince the board to give up the name of the lead donor. He says, and I quote, "Come on Ava. I've seen you at these mixers. You've got most of those guys wrapped around your fingers." And so, this flashback filler chapter was born. As you will see in the fic, it's set somewhere after their one-night stand as well as the episode where Connor's father sends her those flowers (the one where Connor was definitely jealous).   
Sorry...that turned into a longer explanation than I meant...
> 
> Anyways, this chapter's title is Beneath Your Beautiful taken from Labrinth's song 'Beneath Your Beautiful'. I thought the lyrics were quite appropriate for this chapter and I love the song! Go give it a listen if you'd like! 
> 
> Love you guys and thank you as always for the support! Don't forget to leave a comment!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything recognizable.

_ Flashback Scene _

“The CT department is better than ever, thanks in large part to all of your generous donations.”

“Well, it seems that you and Dr. Bekker, along with Dr. Latham, are the ones who keep it running smoothly. If you two keep bringing in those VIP patients and keep those hospital stats up, we’ll keep funding in high amounts.”

Connor flashed his most charming smile, raising his glass in acknowledgment as the group of wealthy donors dispersed. He tapped on his glass and slowly turned on his heel, relived to find himself alone.

He had to admit, he really didn’t like the promotional side of being a well-known and well-sought out surgeon.

He was all the time being asked by the hospital to attend this function or go to that lecture and he usually tried his best to attend and pry donations out of the prestigious, but he would much prefer actually practicing medicine. However, he did have to admit that that wouldn’t be possible if they didn’t have money, hence his willingness to promote his department.

And well, he was proud of it, so he didn’t mind a free pass to brag on it every once and a while.

Tonight’s event was hosted at a rooftop wine bar right on the river, boasting terrific views of the high rises situated on either side.

The air was crisp as the wind whipped by his face, the smell and mist of Lake Michigan accompanying it, watching while the lights twinkled and the boats sailed down the river, grateful for the brief reprieve from socializing. He’d only arrived half an hour ago, but he’d already been ambushed by various members of the hospital board, pushing him towards their favorite benefactors to ‘keep up appearances’.

Glancing around, he was hoping to catch a glimpse of Ava. She was supposed to be here, he’d made sure she was coming because there was no way he was going to face the wolves without her.

The first public appearance she made for the hospital was only a few weeks after she’d started working at Med. It was a gala for the hospital; Employees from all departments, doctors, nurses and techs alike, had been invited as well as the hospitals many benefactors.

He remembered her walking into that ballroom like she owned the place, her hair up in an elegant bun, jewels adorning her neck and ears as her striking red dress swished around her heeled feet.

She’d been beautiful, not that he would admit it to himself at the time. And he definitely hadn’t complimented her.

He remembered trying to sulk in the corner of the room because Robin hadn’t wanted to come with him, avoiding the board and their donors as much as possible but his eyes kept being drawn to Ava.

He’d watched as Dr. Latham took the time to introduce his new protégé (he’d been jealous of her, not that he’d ever admit it) to the board and to all the hospital’s benefactors.

He’d watched as Ava charmed them with her beauty, her accent and her extensive knowledge of medicine. Working the crowd like nobody’s business, he watched as she quickly became one of the hospital’s most beloved surgeons.

Connor recalled giving her a couple of scathing looks to which she responded with a self-satisfied smirk, but they never actually did any socializing that night; both of them had avoided talking to the other.

He’d decided if that was how social events were going to go from there on out, he’d either do the civil thing and skip them entirely or he’d charm all the board members and their benefactors back into his good graces.

His ego won out and he chose the latter option. Until the next fundraising event came up and he was forced to team up with Ava to raise money for Gift of Hope because Peter Kalmick was impressed with how well Ava subtly negotiated funds for the hospital at the aforementioned gala.

And so, it went, Ava wined and dined and charmed while he had little success in drawing the benefactors’ focus back to him. He had more achievement with the women but most of the time, they too, were impressed with Ava.

Of course, this did not go unnoticed by his fellow surgeon. Instead, it turned into yet another layer of animosity and competition to add to the rivalry that already brewed between them at the hospital. She’d turned it into another game of cat and mouse, always sniggering in his direction when her companions weren’t looking.

He would roll his eyes and go back to trying to draw a few of them away, itching to tell them all that she was a devil in disguise. Not that anyone would believe him with the way she was acting. How she could go from being so savage to being so…_delightful_, was beyond his comprehension. And to be honest, it was almost scary to know she could switch masks so effortlessly.

It had carried on like that for quite a while, tension building between them as one tried to one-up the other whether it be in the hospital or out on the town. The only productive thing that came out of their social competition was that they each raised more money than ever before. But not because that was their goal. No, no; the goal was to best the other.

Until that day that everything changed. It came slowly yet all at once.

It seemed like one day they were clawing at each other’s throats (although, they did have their moments when Ava forgot they were supposed to be rivals) and the next they were actually working together for the greater good, not against. Then they’d connected over collapsed buildings, leg amputations and obscure South African references.

And probably most importantly, that was the day he’d learned to put Robin behind him which had helped his mental state immensely.

He was less irritable, more happy-go-lucky (maybe_ too_ happy-go-lucky looking back on it). Of course, at first that didn’t do too much to help out Ava’s sarcastic remarks, but he’d found that, with time, she seemed to begin to warm up to him. Traits he hadn’t seen in her before were surfacing.

Their competition had been far from one-sided, but Connor realized that if maybe he’d been nicer to Ava in the beginning, maybe she would have let her softer side come out sooner.

She had opened up vastly since she first arrived but she was still quick witted, had a temper, made sarcastic remarks, teased and joked, switched her emotions on and off like a light switch but Connor was learning and understanding that that was who Ava was. A complicated mystery behind those masks of hers.

Their rivalry turned into a friendship, the tension turning into something more electric which then turned into something much more complicated than a simple one-night stand. Now he was trying to earn her trust back and it seemed that at the moment, their relationship was turning into a close friendship.

He wasn’t exactly sure where they stood but all he knew was that it was good and warm, and more than that, it felt right. He was just waiting for the right moment to see if it could go any further than friendship, but he couldn’t push her. That was the last thing he wanted to do; push her away any further than he had already.

But he was willing to sit in whatever this was for a while because it was the best place their relationship (and if he was being honest--_any _of his relationships) had ever been.

He just had to wait and make sure she knew he was ready. That she could show him her true self and she didn’t have to be afraid to let her walls down.

“Dr. Rhodes! How’s life treating you? Any exciting surgeries lately?” The loud, bubbly voice of Gorge Harrison and the fatty hand reaching out to grab his in a hearty handshake shook Connor out of his thoughts. He blinked, startled at the large man’s sudden appearance.

Connor’s hand clinched reflectively onto his glass before he retracted his other hand from Mr. Harrison’s tight grasp, “I’m fine, thank you.”

The surgeon smiled in slight amusement at the man’s energy. Gorge Harrison had a personality larger than life, his booming voice and large stature along with his tendency to be slightly heavy handed could sometimes get on a person’s nerves, but usually, it was humorous if not a little abrasive and obnoxious at times.

Mr. Harrison grinned, slapping Connor on the back, oblivious it made the doctor stumble forward a bit, trying to save his drink from sloshing out of the glass.

“I noticed you were by yourself, so I thought I’d come over here to speak to you while I had the chance and so you wouldn’t be friendless,” Mr. Harrison nodded sympathetically like he had just saved Connor from a boring night. Or, at least what would have been boring in his eyes.

Connor’s lip ticked up dryly, “Thank you for the thought, Mr. Harrison, but I’m fine. I was actually just waiting for Dr. Bekker to arrive.”

The other man’s eyes lit up, “Oh, she’s already here! I just spoke to her myself!”

Connor let his gaze follow to where Mr. Harrison’s chubby hand was pointing. Sure enough, there she was, politely speaking to several men in expensive suits.

She was gorgeous, as always, in a grey, chiffon cocktail dress that flowed slightly past her knees. Her collar-bone length hair down but curled like usual.

Connor watched as she grinned, chuckling dryly at something one of the men said which turned into a smirk as she said something back, causing the older man to pull a face of displeasure. He wondered what the man said to make Ava sass at him. Knowing some of these men, probably something either degrading or in an attempt to flirt with her.

It made him want to go over there and give them a piece of his mind, but Connor knew Ava could hold her own. Besides, if he did, Ava would probably be telling _him _off, saying she could take care of herself.

And not to mention he would essentially be showing her that he was jealous. Because he was and there was nothing, he could do about it other than stand there and clench his teeth. At least she wasn’t really flirting back. Because more than jealousy, he was slightly frightened.

Of course, he knew Ava would never really entertain the thought of a relationship with any of the men she was currently talking to because they were much older than her and quite shallow (or at least he didn’t think she would) but there were a few men that frequented these types of events who were actually pleasant and worse, around their age.

He wasn’t above admitting (at least, to himself) that when he’d seen Ava talking to those particular benefactors, he would conveniently come up with a case he needed to speak to her about. Of course, he’d never tell her that and it seemed that miraculously, she hasn’t picked up on his behavior…yet.

Another gentleman came up to Ava, holding out his hand for her to shake. This time, she laughed genuinely at whatever this guy said.

Connor watched again as she shook her head slightly, making her hair fall back behind her shoulders, her hazel eyes shining brightly, oblivious to his awestruck gaze.

“She’s quite lovely, isn’t she?” Mr. Harrison’s surprisingly soft voice shook him from the trance that he had fallen into.

Connor glanced over to the older man’s face, taking in his dopy expression. It seemed that they both had been gazing at Ava like two schoolboys with crushes.

He tamped down a rise of jealousy knowing the other man had been admiring her as well, but he couldn’t fault him for doing the same exact thing he was doing. It was hard to ignore how beautiful Ava was and it wasn’t like he had any right to be angry at Mr. Harrison. Not when Ava wasn’t his however much he wished she was.

Humming in agreement, Connor took a sip of his drink, “She is beautiful.”

Mr. Harrison slapped him on the back once more, “You’re lucky to get to work with someone as intelligent and pretty as Dr. Bekker every day.”

Connor let himself be absorbed back into his thoughts, briefly registering Mr. Harrison greet someone on the other side of the room in his booming voice. He took another sip of whiskey, his attention back on Ava, caught up in the glow of her blonde hair and golden skin.

She must have felt his eyes on her because she turned to meet his gaze. It was like slow motion as they locked looks. She gave him a suppressed half-smile before she turned back to the men who were still carrying on a conversation, oblivious to the fact Ava had been ignoring them.

Connor watched as she swiftly bid them a farewell and made her way over to him with purposeful steps, her dress swaying with her movements.

“Dr. Rhodes,” She approached him, slowing to a standstill to the side of him as he rotated his body to be slightly facing her.

She regarded him for a few seconds, her tongue in her cheek and her lips upturned while Connor stayed silent, waiting to see what she would say or do.

“Were you studying me?” She teased, a grin breaking out over her face.

Connor twirled his ice around in his glass as he brought it up to his face to stare in it, hoping that he wasn’t blushing. Or hoping at least Ava wouldn’t detect that he was flustered at being caught.

He cleared his throat, taking another small sip of his drink before trying a nonchalant response, “Nope. Just observing,” Then giving her a side glance, he mused, “You’re quite the hit. Everyone loves you.”

Ava turned on her heel to face him more fully, her grin turning into one of bemusement, “Why Connor Rhodes. Are you jealous that I’m getting more attention than you?”

Oh, he _was_ jealous. But not of her. _Because _of her.

He rocked on his feet, “No, I’m just pointing it out.”

She gave him a funny look, like she wasn’t sure what to think of his behavior, or weather to believe him, but she gave a slight nod anyway before turning to survey the crowd.

“You seem to have a lot of sway over the donors,” He commented offhandedly, trying to subtly see exactly how close she was with them all.

Ava thankfully didn’t seem to think the comment odd as she hummed in acknowledgement. She shrugged as she turned her attention back to him, a smirk creeping across her face, “A little flirting goes a long way, you know. I’ve learned it comes in handy.”

He did his best to hide his alarm. What the heck did _that _mean?

Before he could fish for any more information, Mr. Singleton approached Ava with his hand stretched out, someone Connor had never seen before following the benefactor.

“Dr. Bekker! I’d like you to meet…”

Connor blocked out the rest of the man’s words watching as Ava shook both men’s hands before heaving a sigh, shoving his free hand into his pocket and heading over to the bar.

Surely she wasn’t dating anyone. He would know it; they worked together pretty much twenty-four/seven. She wouldn’t be able to hide something like that from him, would she?

And it wasn’t like she was seeing any of the men here. They were all too old…and boring. Ava didn’t strike him as someone who would date a boring old guy. Not to mention the fact that she could do so much better.

But as much as he hated to admit it, he had seen her speaking to various doctors and donors who were young and good-looking by anyone’s standards at these types of events before.

Well…he didn’t think they had another mixer to attend for quite a while, so he had some time to be on the lookout for a secret boyfriend in the meantime.

Connor shook his head in disbelief, scoffing to himself. He couldn’t believe he was this worried over a girl.

And there was no way she was dating anyone. She’d never gotten flowers at work, she didn’t ask for nights off (although, he suspected that even if she had boyfriend, she wouldn’t sacrifice work for a relationship) and she never clocked out for lunch.

However, he did remember that one time when he thought she was dating his father. He’d had mixed feelings over that piece of information, on the one hand he’d been jealous and on the other, he’d been slightly disturbed at the very unexpected turn of events.

Connor remembered being slightly salty towards her the whole day, but she hadn’t seemed to care which had only rankled him further. Until after Sarah Reese’s father’s transplant and he’d gotten up the courage to tell Ava that he wasn’t upset just because she was dating his father; he didn’t want her dating anyone.

Well, except for him…he didn’t tell her that part, but he figured it was implied.

Then she’d smirked in that adorable way of hers and told him that she was never dating his father.

And boy had that been a relief on so many different levels.

He’d chuckled in disbelief; It’d been just like her to let him stew over it. And she’d chuckled back, and he knew she’d done it on purpose. Out of sheer curiosity, wondering what he’d do he was sure. Wanting to know how his relationship with his father worked.

Ava was sneaky like that.

So, he felt confident that she wasn’t in anyway involved with his father or any other man for that matter; he felt confident he would know if she was.

Besides he felt they were getting closer; it was just a matter of time.


	2. Burning House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodwin gives an aggravated Ava some words of advice. Set after Ava yells at Connor about wanting a bypass machine and storming through the doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Friends and Happy Wednesday! I'm back with another chapter of episode 5!
> 
> Earlier in this episode we got that Goodwin/Ava scene when Ava asks if keeping the lead donor anonymous was an 'iron-clad' thing and Goodwin reassures her after correctly guessing that she doesn't want Connor finding out. I've always enjoyed watching Goodwin interact with the doctors and I really think she cares about them... I actually seem to recall an earlier episode where she tells Dr. Charles that she worries about them. We didn't get many scenes of her interacting with Ava (well, to be honest we didn't get many scenes of Ava interacting with anyone other than Connor (which I love but it would have been nice to see her develop relationships with her co-workers)) and I thought that the little we did see seemed like an interesting dynamic so of course I decided to add an extra scene featuring the wise Ms. Goodwin's thoughts concerning Ava and Connor. Hopefully you like it as well and let me know what you think about Goodwin's relationship with Ava and the other doctors!
> 
> Today's chapter comes from 'Burning House' by Cam. This is another song about a relationship going down in flames but there's a line that reads, "I've been sleep walking too close to the fire" and I think that in a sense Ava is walking close to the fire by keeping the secret of what happened with Connor's father a secret. The song also says "But it's the only place that I can hold you tight, In this Burning House" and I feel like Ava is trying to hold on to Connor even though he doesn't know the turmoil she's going through.
> 
> And we're getting closer to resolving that turmoil! Finally! I promise it's coming if we can just get past episode 7 through 10/11 (that's going to be the angsty talk it out episodes before things between Ava and Connor become smoother).
> 
> Okay, I'm done rambling! Enjoy!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.

The clicks of her small pumps resounded on the linoleum tiles, adding to the usual beeps of monitors and the squeaks of sneakers brushing against the floor as people briskly walked around her in every direction.

Sharon barely paid the bustle any attention as she leafed through the various papers handed out during the board meeting she’d just escaped from, perfectly content to leave the rest of her fellow members squabbling over the best way to increase revenue without doing anything illegal.

In her opinion, board meetings were typically mind-numbing unless they were discussing actual problems like buying more equipment to further quality treatment and funding the hospital in ways that didn’t affect patient care.

Or, if one Doctor Connor Rhodes made a guest appearance in the conference room.

When other doctors, surgeons, nurses…what have you, showed up to present solutions to issues or proposals for things they wanted, more often than not, after advocating for whatever it was, they accepted the boards’ answer, no matter what it was.

Now, some of them came back over and over again, each time trying to convince the board once more that their idea was a valid one and something the hospital could benefit greatly from. And, of course, there was always much frustration from those who were denied but, in the end, everyone pretty much accepted the hospital boards’ answer and came to terms that there was nothing more they could do about it.

But not Connor Rhodes.

In all her years, Sharon Goodwin had never seen a more determined person.

Except maybe Ava Bekker.

Which was quite ironic seeing as how the two surgeons were figuratively pulling in the opposite direction on this particular issue.

It was always interesting when one of them showed up to give a pitch and today, Connor had come to the board, wanting to know the name of the lead donor of the hybrid OR, just as Ava had said he was going to do. And just like the administrator had assured the young surgeon earlier that day, the lead donor’s name had not been disclosed much to Connor’s displeasure.

However, Goodwin knew he wouldn’t give up. Not easily. Not without a fight. And not without causing a young doctor a lot of anxiety, albeit unknowingly.

Sharon wondered how Ava was planning on keeping the fact she went to his father from Connor now that he was so adamant to know who had donated the money. When the surgeon had come up with this plan, Goodwin highly doubted she had played this scenario out in her head.

The administrator had a feeling that Ava had assumed, like any other person would, that as long as Connor got the OR, he would care less about anything else, least of all who funded the project.

That is, until he found he wanted something else because only Connor Rhodes would find something else he ‘needed’ and not recognize he’d already gotten more than his fair share.

A loud, aggravated voice floating from the other side of the double doors at the end of the hallway slowed her steps. Goodwin looked up from her folder just as a very frustrated Ava Bekker stormed through them, making the doors swing wildly before jerking to a stop against the springs.

“Dr. Bekker. Is everything alright?”

Ava’s disgusted glare flashed in her direction and her aggravated steps faltered as the angry expression slid off her face, softening somewhat but still clearly irritated.

“Ms. Goodwin,” She greeted after a few seconds of composing herself somewhat.

Sharon studied her for a moment before gesturing between the doctor and the doors she had just come through, “Let me guess. Connor’s upset about the boards’ answer.”

Ava scowled again, “Do you want to know what he just asked me?”

Without waiting for a response, she continued, “Since the hospital denied his request, he asked me if I could help him find out who the lead donor is.”

She huffed in exasperation, letting out a short, dry, laugh, “Can you believe that?” Ava shook her head, rubbing her forehead, softly adding, “As if I haven’t done enough for him.”

“So, I take it he still doesn’t know you went to his father?”

“God, no,” Ava shook her head, “If he found out, if I told him, he’d probably never forgive me. I thought I’d be able to keep it from him. I thought he had all he wanted but…”

She trailed off, gesturing in exasperation before crossing her arms tightly.

The administrator laid her hand on Ava’s forearm in sympathy, “You knew something like this might happen. He’s quite persistent.”

Ava sighed again, sounding weary but still frustrated, “See, that’s the problem! He doesn’t know when to stop! I thought once I got the money, got him the OR, he’d be content, stay at Med and not say anything more about it,” She shook her head humorlessly, “I should have known better. I do know better.”

She buried her face in her hands as Goodwin waited for her to continue talking, “I mean, first, I had to convince his unbecoming father to donate the money, then I had to convince him to not say anything about it and then I had to hope and pray that Connor wouldn’t pass up the opportunity…” Ava trailed off, her mood shifting briefly to give the older lady a look of gratitude.

“You were the one who pushed for the stipulation, weren’t you?”

Goodwin smiled warmly, “Yes. I thought you might could use a little help. A little push in the right direction. Although,” She raised a brow, “I don’t think he really needed it. He would have stayed regardless but, I knew it couldn’t hurt.”

Ava licked her lips, crossing her arms once more, “Yes, well, if he finds out, it won’t matter to me anymore. He’ll never speak to me again.”

Sharon regarded her for a few seconds before sighing in slight puzzlement, “Not that it’s any of my business, and not that I don’t understand why you don’t want to tell Dr. Rhodes where the funds came from, but it seems to me that at this point, maybe you should just tell him,” Cocking her head, she added, “And I understand that he might be a little upset at you not telling him but, not talking to you? That seems a little extreme.”

Especially given the way he looks at you, Goodwin added silently to herself.

Ava’s expression hardened, giving a sharp shake of her head, “I can’t tell him.”

Goodwin furrowed her brows, once again thoughtfully regarding the young surgeon before her expression shifted into one of concern and suspicion, “Ava, did something happen that night?”

Startled at Ms. Goodwin’s use of her first name and of her perceptive question, Ava’s head snapped up to look her directly in the eyes.

She swallowed hard before giving another shake of her head, “No. Nothing happened.”

Sharon gave her another look but decided not to push, at least not at the moment. Over the time that Dr. Bekker had been at Med, the administrator had picked up on the fact that she kept everything close to her chest and rarely opened up about personal issues so if something _had _happened, God forbid, Goodwin highly doubted she would be able to pry it out of her.

To be honest, she was actually worried about the young doctor. She worried about all her doctors and nurses, but Ava had always been hard to figure out.

And Goodwin still didn’t know much about the doctor other than the fact that she was an incredibly gifted surgeon who was from South Africa who never talked about her family or herself; Who worked long hours and was extremely competitive but cared deeply even if it didn’t show on her face.

If she had to guess, Ava had had a hard life growing up. Especially during her medical career.

She knew how hard it was to rise up in a man’s world.

And being as successful as she was, as young as she was, coming from one of the most competitive, harsh hospitals in the world as a cardiothoracic surgeon. It was no wonder she knew how to advocate for her patients and to fight to be the best.

Sharon’s heart hurt for the girl. She imagined Ava had led an extremely lonely life in which she had been taught that there was little room for mistakes and that showing emotion was a weakness.

Goodwin doubted any of her employees had any idea how much she observed them or cared for them.

Once a nurse, always a nurse.

But she had also seen the way that Connor and Ava had been looking at one another for the past almost year. She’d picked up the changes in their behavior towards each other and she personally thought it was a great match if the two could just pull their heads out of the sand and stop being so darn stubborn.

Which was one of the reasons why she’d advocated so hard to keep Connor at Med, trying to help Ava in any way she could.

And it concerned her that she was so adamant about keeping her involvement in securing the money for hybrid OR under wraps. She understood her hesitance but, in the end, couldn’t she see that it would be in her best interest to tell Connor herself?

Had Ava really thought she’d be able to keep the secret from him forever? She was smarter than that.

Connor would probably be upset, yes but hate Ava, never. He was too in love with her for that even if he didn’t want to admit it.

If Ava would just tell him about it and why she did it and they actually discussed their feelings, she knew they would both benefit from it and Ava wouldn’t be so miserable.

Sharon cocked her head thoughtfully, “You know, some secrets weren’t meant to stay secrets.”

Ava looked away, biting her lip almost like she was in disbelief.

“I think you might be surprised at Dr. Rhodes’ response. I don’t think he’ll be as mad as you think he’ll be,” Seeing that Ava didn’t seem to be budging, Goodwin gave the girl’s arm another pat and smiled in solemn encouragement, “Think about it.”

She regarded the surgeon once more before moving past her, leaving her still staring off into space in the middle of the hall.

Sharon Goodwin passed through the doors that Ava Bekker had stormed through just minutes ago, worrying about the young couple and hoping that Ava would heed her advice and come clean to Connor about whatever happened that night.

If they had any hope to have anything resembling a real relationship, they could have no secrets.

Starting now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Thanks for giving it a read now I'm going to go try to finish at least one of the dozen fanfics I've started so hopefully soon I can post some rhekker/Ava content other than the fic-it series. I've got several things in the works that I think you guys will really like--One of which has taken me forever to write but I think it will be my best and most heartfelt rhekker story so far. I'm going to try to post by next weekend but no promises (I can't seem to get the ending right...I keep changing it :) ;)
> 
> Anyways, please leave a review and tell me what you thought!


	3. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A closer look at Connor's thoughts after Ava lectured to him about getting a bypass machine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your weekly CM update! Today's chapter is short but I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Title came from Alex and Sierra's song 'I Love You'. The lyrics match this chapter pretty well and I really love the song so yeah, give it a listen if you'd like.
> 
> Dialogue borrowed from NBC's Chicago Med is denoted by an *
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own NBC's Chicago Med if you don't know that already...

_"I Fell in love with a beautiful girl_

_And she still takes my breath away..._

_And I love you, more than you think I do"_

_ -Alex and Sierra's 'I Love You'_

* * *

_“You have everything you need right in front of you to make this thing work. Stop always grasping for more and appreciate what you’ve got!”*_

Her words rang in his head as he stared at the doors she’d just stormed through, startled and puzzled at her abrupt anger.

_“Stop always grasping for more and appreciate what you’ve got!”*_

The sting of her brutal honesty slowly consumed him. His shock at her sudden change in behavior shifting into one of regret.

_“Come on, you can do this one thing for me.”*_

_“One thing?”*_

He swallowed, beginning to realize how selfish he’d sounded. How selfish he’d been.

Slowly turning on his heel, Connor rubbed his forehead as he mindlessly made his way down to the ED, thinking about what Ava had just hissed at him.

_“You don’t need a dedicated bypass machine! You only want one because you hate it when you have to bring patients up to me!”*_

_“…You have everything you need…”*_

She was right. Again.

What a selfish, conceited idiot he’d been.

He _did_ have everything he needed.

He’d gotten more than what he’d deserved and yet, here he was, still grasping for more, just like Ava had pointed out in no uncertain terms.

Connor grabbed a binder and sat behind one of the desks in the ED’s nurses’ station, mulling over the rude awakening Ava had just provided him with.

_“Can’t you do this one thing for me?”*_

_“One thing?”*_

He’d been going around, trying to make the hybrid OR perfect, stocked with high-tech gear, complaining that it wasn’t good enough when he found something else he wanted. Like a bypass machine.

It was like he’d pulled the wool over his own eyes and hadn’t noticed all the work everyone else was doing to make the room a reality--for him.

Yeah, the board was against it at first, but they did eventually grant his request when the money showed up. And whoever donated said funds must have believed in him or they wouldn’t have requested the money go towards a hybrid OR.

And to think he wanted to go groveling for more money.

All Ms. Goodwin had done to promote his cause on his behalf. She did more than he probably knew.

All the people behind-the-scenes that had organized things to get the room built quickly and efficiently.

And Ava.

She’d gone above and beyond, advocating on his behalf.

And not just for this, but for countless other things in the past whether she was just a silent supporter, quietly letting him know she had his back or an active voice, standing by his side as she subtly encouraged and worked the higher-ups much better than he ever could.

He didn’t know what he’d do without her.

Connor chuckled humorlessly and rubbed his face wearily before looking up to stare across the bustling ED at his impressive, pristine hybrid OR.

That OR.

That job offer from Mayo.

It really messed him up.

If he hadn’t gotten the offer, hadn’t said yes against a voice that was telling him no, hadn’t had a patient die to give him the idea of a hybrid OR, hadn’t decided to stay and run the thing after the money miraculously showed up, hadn’t butted heads with Ava, hadn’t found a reason to beg for a bypass machine, hadn’t messed up so Ava would yell at him just now…

Well, apparently that was what it took to realize the real reason why he wanted to stay at Med. Why he’d never wanted to leave to begin with.

It was because of Ava.

He’d always known that deep down, but it was like he was just now realizing it, comprehending what it meant.

He’d known he liked her for quite a while now, but this was different. This was deeper and he’d never felt this way about anyone before.

Connor huffed out another laugh in disbelief, overwhelmed with emotion.

The puzzle pieces had finally clicked together, and he’d finally allowed himself to accept what he’d been too afraid and too stubborn to admit.

He loved her.

Connor Rhodes was in love with Ava Bekker.

His arch nemesis turned stalemate turned friend turned silent supporter had now turned into the most important person in his life.

He had to tell her today. He had to apologize, and he needed to make sure she knows how he feels about her even if he didn’t come right out and say it.

“Hey Connor!” Maggie’s voice to his left pulled him out of the trance he’d been in. He looked at her blankly, but she didn’t seem to pick up on his odd gaze, absorbed in the information that was on her page, “The ambo is bringing in a STEMI and the Cath-Lab is full so it looks like we’re going to have to use the hybrid room.”

The charge nurse looked at him expectantly and Connor blinked, trying to get his thoughts together before jumping into action.

He would find Ava later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and hopefully sweet?? I don't know, poor Connor's got all the emotions... so it's probably more angsty than sweet. How do you think I did? Did I stay in character? Was it too early for Connor to admit (in his head) that he loves Ava? 
> 
> Can't wait to finish this episode and get onto the juicer ones, like episode 7, 10, 11... just to name a few! I've got some pretty fun ideas up my sleeve so I hope you'll stick around for those!
> 
> Leave a comment and thank you for reading, as always!

**Author's Note:**

> How did you like it!? Was it fun? Cheesy? In character? I could just imagine Ava working the donors...not only is she gorgeous, she's the type of woman who I think would command any room she was in. She's quite a force. And Connor, he needs to get his act together before Ava's taken by someone else...
> 
> Also, so sorry for the abrupt ending... I sometimes struggle wrapping things up but hopefully you didn't find it too weird! I also feel like I needed to tell you guys something else but I can't remember what it was! If it comes to me, I'll post it on tumblr!
> 
> Let me know what you thought!! And Happy Halloween (a day early)!!


End file.
